Good morning, I’m going to talk about Gods sense of humor this morning and how he loves to play with His children. Atleast he does with me. Along with the power of prayer and sprinkle in the flower of prominence. It is a little riscay and racey however even my children have heard this story because its quite Humorous.
When I going through my first divorce. I decided that I wouldn’t sleep with anyone until it was decreed by the Judge that I was Divoced. I threw myself into focusing on my children, work, the gym and prayer and meditation. I owed my ex wife nothing (she had already found someone new) but I made a Vow to God too and I broke my word to God so many times in my life and this time I aimed to keep it. I was seperated for 6 months until we filed for divorce and then I had to wait 3 months for it to be official.
It’s funny when you are trying not to date anyone and keep your word what people say. “Don’t be silly, you are a free to do whatever you want.” And I would reply, that is not the point. The point is I aim to keep my Vow to God until the Marriage Contract is disolved.
I soon had so many women chasing after me it was completely rediculous. I said, no, I ain’t sleeping with ya, I’m keeping my word to God. I litterally had one girl invite me over for dinner and when I came in the house she was in the kitchen wearing nothing but an apron and heels and I stood there and thought shit! I gotta get out of here. She said, today is the day. I said I have 9 more days and I aim to keep my word and I got to go. She litterally walked out to my truck with me I. Her apron and heels asking me if I was gay or if she wasn’t pretty? I said no I’m not gay! And you are super pretty! This is between God and me! If you can 9 more days, I will cook with ya! But I gotta go! And she just stood there I her apron and heels looking confused while I drove off.
I drove to Stanwood, wa and I’m just spinning inside and I decided to going meeting on co-dependancy. When I got there I sat in my car and started praying and I broke down and said, Shit Dude! I don’t know if I can do this God! I could feel the desire for sex burring in my guts… I took a deep breath and said, Would it be ok if I got a little pussy? I mean if I’m going to get a little anyway how about a lot??? I mean I made a valient attempt but I have no idea I made it out of that house! This is kicking my ass. My intentions are good. Atleast there is that! Silence and I finished my cigarette and said, well I don’t know of I should have prayed for that. Hey God, atleast I’m honest with you! Crushed my cigarette out and went in the meeting.
After the meeting I felt much better. I got out in the car and I was heading home. My phone started ringing and it was my brother. So I turned down the radio and say whats up little brother? He said where ya at? I told him. He said hey I found a little Kitten and the Wife says we have too many animals already. You want it?
It was as if I got hit by a electro magnetic sludge hammer right between the eyes. Profound realization and Epiphany! Almost instantaneous answered to prayer. I mean I just prayed an hour and a half before that.
I said, uhhh what? Excuse me, What did you just say?? He said I found a little tiny kitten. We can’t keep it. You want it or not? I took a few deep breaths pulled the car over to the side of the road and said, uhmm. Uhh yeaaahhhh I will be right over to get it.
I hung up the phone, sat for a minute just breathing.. Then I rolled the driver’s window down and yelled out, “Are you fucking kidding me?!!!! That isn’t even remotely Funny God!!!!!” Then I rold up the window and started driving. A few miles down the road, I turned the radio volume back up and some dudes on the radio laughing hysterically and says (and I shit you not) “well I thought it was funny!” I turned the radio off and went and picked up my little kitten.
I took him home and fell asleep that night with him purring by the top of my head on my pillow. It was exactly what I needed.
After a few weeks, we were still trying to figure out what to name him. He was a rascle and ate like a horse. He was getting really big and fast.
My son and I decided to call him joker because of the story. On my Daughter’s 4th birthday she said joker was a dumb name. I said well your a big girl now at 4 years old. You name him. She lit all up with a grin from ear to ear and screamed in delight, “Really?!!!!!” I said sure, you can name him darling. So she put her hands on her little face and had a super intense look of thinking serious.. Her brother and I just stood there watching her mildly giggling inside because she looked so serious and adorable. It’s a big deal for a young lady of 4 naming her first kitty.
A few moments passed, then she jumps up and says, I know! I know! And she smiling and jumping up and down. I said what do you want to name him darling? She says, Broccoli! His name is Broccoli! I said what??!!!!! Like the Vegitable?!!! Broccoli??!!!!! She says yeah Daddy! It’s perfect! I said there is nooooo damn way wee are naming a cat Broccoli!!!!!!
She said well it’s better than Joker! Jeesh! I said no it’s not! Nameing him Broccoli would be a joke all by itself. We are not naming the cat after a damn Vegitable.
To my strong objection,
A few weeks later everyone comes to the house is calling the cat Broccoli. Lol. Later we find out he is a Maincoon. I never even knew what a Maincoon was. So we ended up with a 22 lb cat named Broccoli. Flower power or B- Rock as my son called him.
4 years later, I am dating someone else and we are living in my house in Lake Stevens and as t the house we now have 4 female cats, I now have 2 daughters, a niece living with us, my girlfriend at the time, 16 chickens or as we called them “The lady’s” and I’m standing out on my deck and with broccoli the cat who is the only boy besides me at the house. Broccoli sitting there with a toy Horse riding saddle strapped on his back with a barbie taped to it wearing a pink tutu from playing with the girls. (my buddy Pat has a picture of it. Lol it’s quite funny). Welcome to Narnia! As Pay would say. The unofficial name of my ranch back then.
I look up to heaven and say, Ok Ok! I’m now good! I get it! Funny guy! And right then as I said it the clouds parted and the sun beamed down on my face. I could feel the warmth of God’s smile as the warm sun carressed my face. I tipped my hat to Him. Fired up the Lawn Tractor, hooked it to the old 12 foot boat that had cracked hull, loaded up the kids and a few chickens, a few kitty’s and pulled them around the property for fun.
God is a funny guy. Once ya get to Know Him. Ha ha ha.
As always, This is a True story!
Hope you have an amazing weekend! I know I will. Do! For B-Rock the 22 lb the magical Maincoon, who was the answer to my prayers.
Cue: ~ For those about to Rock, we salute you. ~