The Full Measure.

Good morning. Sometimes I forget this very simple wisdom.

Yes! Is a full sentence.

As is

No!  Is a full sentence.

I forget sometimes and think I need to explain my boundaries and why I choose what I choose. I feel like I have to explain my feelings for them to be valid. When a simple No or Yes is sufficient.

Nobody is responsible for my feelings they are mine. I am not responsible for anyone else’s feelings. I’m not responsible for anyone choices no matter how convincing their argument may be.  I dont need argue and rant and demand that someone validates my feelings or thoughts as valid. I dont need anyone to validate me other than ~THE DUDE~.

To me this whole life is about one dialog between ~THE DUDE~ and me. HE talks to me through others quite a bit, and situations,  circumstances and events.

Me setting a boundary by saying a simple “No” isn’t any less effective if I leave it at that  than if I go into a long long diatribe about why for validation. Actually the long diatribe creates a weakness in my boundary of “No”. It invites discussion of why my boundary can be moved or dissolved.

Same with a simple Yes. Nothing is further required of me. Other peoples opinions even the good ones are more about them and what is in their heart than are about the receiver of that opinion. And there is only one Opinion that matters most to me, ~THE DUDE~ opinion of me.  I hold HIM in High Regard because HE knows the shit I don’t even about me.

I had got baited into a conversation yesterday with someone who was saying they were further advanced than me in spiritual growth. I said I’m not really in competition with anyone about my spiritual growth or any kind of growth.

“Faith like potatoes” sprang to the mind. The thing about potatoes is you dont see them growing because they grow in the earth and the darkness.  Then one day you reap a full harvest of them. I used to grow them inside old tires. Cover the tire with dirty and they would grow inside of it and when the season was finished and it was time to reap, turn over the tire and you would reap a full bounty.

Growing in the dark, turning it over or letting it go, and reaping. All spiritual axioms.

Back to being baited into competitive growth and whether it is better to be right or good. I chose to be good with this person. In reality,  I’m not in competition with anyone but myself. I want everyone to grow and become all they can be or desire to be. I’m genuinely and authentically happy for everyone when they are successful. even if it’s in an area I’m struggling with. I have been trying to find a good source of economic security for a while. Trying to manifest abundance and prosperity to no avail as of yet. At the same time 7 people have told me recently they got “The Job of their dreams”, super high pay more than they ever made in their lives doing something they love and are passionate about.  I dont take that personal and make it about me. I dont scream “What about me God?!!” Because I’m a period of “Faith like potatoes”. I am genuinely and authentically happy for them. I sincerely am grateful they are having their dreams come true. Their dreams coming true and getting their Dream Job and making more money than they could ever imagine in their life is about the GOODNESS of THE DUDE working in their life and I’m super excited for them and happy for them.

I went into an explanation yesterday about my feelings and validating them to this person baiting me into competition about spiritual growth which was an error on my part. I could have as easily just said No. Or No thank you. Because they are experiencing a season of prosperity and think that because I have been experiencing a season of poverty they are farther advanced than me spiritually.  The evidence is in material stuff and life taking a good turn for them. And because they think my poverty is a reflection of my spiritual condition and inability to grow. That I’m stagnate and withering or dying on the vine because I have been in the desert of poverty for a while. In the desert nothing grows much.

I dont think that is the case at all. I know lots of spiritually bankrupt people who have enormous amounts of material wealth. And again. I’m not in competition with anyone spiritually.  I love the spirit of competition in other areas and love all sorts of battle. Mental battles, intuitive battles, a battle of witts, sarcasm, and even physical battles although its getting harder to get off the ground as quickly as it was when I was younger. Lol

However when it comes to spiritual growth and “treasures in heaven” which I don’t really care about “treasures in heaven” because it’s not my motivation for doing good nor loving people. Not that I wont accept Treasures in Heaven or life. I like money and cool stuff.  Its just that Treasures be them in Heaven or Earth aren’t my motivation in life as it relates to spirituality.

I  regret my explaining my self and my feelings for validation to this person. A simple No would have been much more wise and kind. To them and me.  Ya see they are my feelings. Not anyone else’s. And The other persons feelings are theirs. I dont look for a scape goat to pin my feelings on or an airplane to fly by with a banner behind it validating my feelings of having worth and value.

They are my feelings and my responsibility and it my job to “feel them” not look for an outside bandage for an inside wound. Not anyone else’s responsibility not am I responsible for anyone else’s feelings no matter how convincing their argument is. They need to own their own feelings,  validate themselves and feel them.

Same with opinions. Opinions are like assholes. Sometimes they stink and everyone has one.  Lol. Opinions are more about the person who gives them than anyone they give them to.

A proverb. “From out of a man heart comes his words.” Now I have so many nicknames I cant even remember them all. Just like THE DUDE has many different names. And alot of people I know. Like George over at Urban Survival. I have several nicknames for him. Take for instance when he is being a pessimist and in a bad mood I call him Optimist Prime. Hahah. Sarcasm.

I do appreciate the thought, kindness, affection, reverence, respect and love that comes from many people who have given me such titles as Homer Simpson, Cowboy, Yoda, Buda, Odins Raven, The 5th Element,  Cosmic Chicken Bunny,  etc etc.  I make no mistake that All the opinions come from other people even the good ones are more about them than me.

I honestly only try to convey my experience and what I learned or  discovered wisdom. I do my best to not give advise. Because I dont know what is best for anyone. THE DUDE does. That much I know. It’s not my place to tell anyone how to live their best life. If asked and I get asked alot. And many of the people i have helped change their lives over the years, i only gave my experience,  what it was like for me in a similar situation,  what I did and what I discovered to get me out of it.

Sometimes that is just remembering “faith like potatoes”. We all go through transitory seasons in life of abundance and prosperity and poverty and sorrow. That is life. That is the spice of life. I savor it all. The good,  the bad and the not so pretty.  Experience, strength and hope. that is what I share with those who change their directions in life. That is all I do. They already have the power within them to revolutionize their lives they just don’t know it. I just am good at spotting it and showing it to them. like dorothy always had the power to go home the entire time with her. Just 3 clicks of her heels. And the Cowardly Lion, the Tin man and the scarecrow  All had inside them what they just couldnt see themselves.

Does that make me a Wizard because I can see into the hearts of men and women what they cant see themselves? Not really. it just means I love well. Because when I look into them, I use the eyes of unconditional love. The world looks at them with the eyes of judgment and condemnation  and in turn they cloak themselves in a selfie filter of shame. Until I look at them with empathy and compassion.  Love and connection,  consideration. Then they take off the mask of shame and go on to be the best he or she can be.

I have given many homeless people cars to live in and ran into them a years later with a job an apartment and they are clean and sober and have their kids back. Paid the rent of hundreds of people so they didn’t loose everything.  Took people off the street and got them jobs and places to live. More than I can ever remember.

All I did is I Looked at them through the eyes of unconditional love when the world treated them as trash to be tossed out and forgotten. And in almost every single case they went on to live a life they never knew existed or could imagine or dream.

All I  did was share my experience and  discovered wisdom. I never gave them advice or told them what to do. I just told them today is the day your life changes! God has heard your prayers! I’m the answer. Then I showed them what they couldt see inside of them, loved them unconditionally,  shared my experience and discoveds wisdom and sent them on their way after some financial assistance in most cases. Like my friend Aimee whi calls me her Angel. She was homeless for 10 years, living in her car.  I invested  over a thousand  dollars into her in hotel rooms, food, car storage, and just cash and we went and bought the Shaman Red Sky Bear $200 in groceries when he didnt even ask us too. I intuitively knew he was out of food, resources and gas.  Like Christ said, if you have 2 tuniks and your brother has none, give him one if yours.  Its one thing to love someone and feed them a fish then teach them how to fish then give them empty words of love with no supporting evidence. Faith even others without action is not real faith. That sorta faith is just a label not essence and substance. Like George had faith in me in this site and did a ton of work for free to get me up and running smoothly verses a hearty good luck and a slap on the ass. Lol

One of the things I told Aimee when she was homeless along with many other too many to count is to give something you love and hold dearly to another as a symbol of an exchange from this life your living to the life you want. She left her favorite purse down by the river in the Shasta mountains as an act of faith. 8 months later she is driving a brand new car, living in a 5 million dollar mansion with a pool. But I know it was very hard to give that purse up. It was her favorite material item she had as a homeless woman.  She will never know the person who found her purse after she left it at the river. Who was blessed by it.  In Her act of faith she claimed who she was inside and who she was to THE DUDE, and he gave her a life she never dreamed was possible.  And she calls me the Angel. Hahaha Hardly! I’m the one blessed to know her. Not the other way around . She saved me more than I did anything.

And so they had a material example of evidence of that love. Just like Dorothy’s shoes and the diploma the Oz gave to the scare crow.

Mr Mason, ya see this all started when I gave everything i owned to a friend who was beaten down and had only a lawn chair and a mattress. IF I wouldnt have done that??? I’d never met the Hopi, The Shaman and Aimee would be still living in her car and her prayers would be still waiting to be answered after 10 years of being homeless. And all the others who I havent told their stories, would not have the life they have now, if I didnt go looking for what THE DUDE had for me. And I’m so very blessed by all HE has given me in exchange for all my material attachments. A FULL MEASURE.

Does that make me better than you? Not at all. Does that make me more powerful than you? Not at all. Everyone can do what I can do. We ar ordinary every day Angel’s and answers to someone’s prayers. Everyone is a wizard when they look into the hearts of others with the eyes of unconditional love.

Trust me Choices. THE DUDE has never short changed me. Never not once. I am experiencing the Full Measure and Meaning of Life and Love. I’m soooooo BLESSED AND HIGHLY FORTUNATE. you have no idea. Even when I’m in a season of poverty financially. I’m far more blessed and fortunate than most people.

I’m not really that special. I just listen alot. To the world around me and not so much in what people say but what is behind their words. What is inside of them. And they call me an Angel for doing so. When everyone can do this. But most people are just formulating responses in their head to actually listen. Or waiting for their turn to talk. Not many people even listen to the ants when they are busy working. Let alone the birds singing in the morning. not many take the time to think or listen. I spend a majority of my day listening. You have 2 ears and one mouth. Two thumbs in  this case and again, it’s not a competition. this isnt about ego of who is better.

I had to let go of someone yesterday. I’m really grateful for the experience we shared and all that they taught me and cherish all the memories we shared and will keep some of those super intimate love an connection moments of tender intimacy and laughter I’m my heart until I pass from this world. Treasures that are sacred and I wont ever repeat them or give them to another  they are unique because as my new friend Mr Mason pointed out yesterday in his experience and discovered wisdom,  we will never be the same as we were those days and those days will never be the same as they were when we shared those deep loving and tender moments in spiritual intimacy. Intimacy is not just sexual.. I’m truly grateful for that and that person.

Now I must move forward. I had a toxic person bait me this morning into a dialog. I just said no. They looked at me as if that was all. They started again and I said no.  They looked confused and started again and i just said no. They stopped and went and badgered someone else. Because No is a full sentence and I dont have time for toxic insanity.

Then a friend called and told me about a possible job.  I said Yes! They said yes? I said Yes! It’s a full sentence. they laughed and said I love how you think Andy.  I said that my dear is because you love how you think. We are healthy and of sound mind. Able and willing to create beauty. So I say yes to you.  She laughed and said Yes! I said why? She said because Yes Feels good! I said the other reason? She said because Yes is a full sentence.

THE DUDE always answers me in 3 ways.  No, Yes and you will just have to wait. And just because I spent a season in poverty? Doesnt mean that is my destination. this is a journey through life not a destination.  People who get trapped in that mentality that is a prison planet think this world is a destination.  It’s not a destination. life is dynamic animated movement. Not fixed.

Savore it all. The good, the bad, the scary and the not so pretty. Because that is a full life journey.  To be experienced. And allow your feelings to flow through you and do not cling to them.  Feelings aren’t things to hold they are feelings to be felt.

I am Blessed and Highly Fortunate! I hope you are as well.

Cue: ~ 9 to the Universe~

Yeah baby!

Jimmy Hendirix.

Infinitely NOW!

just andy

7 thoughts on “The Full Measure.”

  1. “I had got baited into a conversation yesterday with someone who was saying they were further advanced than me in spiritual growth.”

    Matthews 23:11 He who is greatest among you shall be your servant; 12 whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.

    The DUDE didn’t leave anything out in the Bible. He covered it all.

    “In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” – Theodore Roosevelt

    If we reflect on that Teddy Roosevelt quote for a minute… missing the target at any point in our life isn’t the worst thing we can do. Not taking the shot is.

    I, like you, had to start over at 50 when I was downsized out of a job. I took a shot at insurance & never looked back. Just take the shot at something.

    Reply
    • Yeah Im totally interested. It aint easy starting over at 50. I got some irons in the fire and one i had not considered just popped up and Im super qualified for that job. Same level as a state trooper, and i am pretty sure i know the director and she likes me alot. we used to date in-between ex wives. she is super cool and can kick my ass in the gym. haha so im going to apply for that for sure. Especially if the Economy tanks. Casinos, Booze and drugs, and make up products do very very very well in an economic depression. Job security as a State Casino Regulator. Casinos cant be open without them and they are making billions. So im hopping this is THE DUDES will. I just applied at Costco a few minutes ago. so maybe that is the plan. LOL I think i will have enough money to do get the study stuff and sign up for the 20 hours of class work and pay for the exam to get insurance licensed next week. Probably do a podcast tomorrow. < strong>right now i am going to pick weeds for a friend for $10 an hour. If i hear one more word tell me about, “how i need to be humble” while they live in a million dollar house driving a 80k car and im picking weeds to make money for $10 an hour? Im going sock that person right in the fuckin nuts! Hard! hahahahah when they are on the ground next to me? i will tell them i will pay them $5 of my $10 hour if while they are down here with me want to pick some weeds too. hahahahhahahahahahah

      Reply
  2. Whooaaa I just found a killer job. As a Commissioned officer to be a state regulator for Casinos. I already been to the FBI Fraud and counterfeiting school and was a casino inspector for 8 years. This is a level higher. Same equivalent as a State Trooper and pays $100k a year. I’m super qualified. I have 8 years experience and the give an unmarked cruiser, gas card and service pistol. I’m applying for that now! I probably know the Director. I think it’s this chick I dated 12 years ago that used to work as an FBI agent. Not what you would think a FBI agent would look like. Off the chart intelligent but off work was a super Hippy chick and trying to get me to go climb k2 with her. Which I promptly declined. Hahaha. Fuck that. Too cold.

    Wow, I was looking for something else and that just popped up on my screen. Trippy. I will apply today. Have to move to Olympia tho. What a great little weird surprise! Cool. Guess we will see what the DUDE Says about it.

    Reply

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